


Baby Boy

by alllexxx3



Category: Original Work
Genre: Conflict with Formal Education, First Kiss, Impudence, Innocence, M/M, Rebellious Personality, The Sea Is Everything, pot smoking, underage romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 07:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alllexxx3/pseuds/alllexxx3
Summary: It's a love story about two underaged boys who couldn't possibly be more inverse to each other but together, like Ying Yang, they make a perfect and utterly harmonic whole. It's also a story about spiritual and emotional growth. About searching and failing, rebelling and comfort, teaching and learning. A story about Love. And Life.
Relationships: Alex Alexander/Tristen No
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please, kindly note that the text's orthography is part of its stylistics. It expresses the narrator's attitude as much as his words. In other terms, it's absolutely intentional and it isn't subject to editing.
> 
> Rating, Characters and Additional Tags may/will change with the following chapters.

i first saw him in class... which wasn't even mine...

pure accident – more so, given i'd never really lingered at school for long...

the classroom door was open, i was making my way out of the building – pissed at the futility of what they called education... i was 12, and i was dead set that couldn't b the way to learn about _anything_ at all!... what i didn't know yet was the fact that i'd get a chance to... learn in a way which would make me feel like i could never get enough of it.

back then, my only goal was to get away from the place and mostly the person that had made me feel like my mind would just explode... to take a breath... to break a few glasses, so i wouldn't break their head... to refuge myself at the sea... and to cry out my fury to the waves... until my soul would b at peace again...

precisely in that moment of rampant repudiation i heard a whimsical voice:

“i don't care! i want it now!”

then another voice preachified, and it sounded... dull right after the silver bells in the first one.

“keep silent, tristen, and behave... we r in class...”

“i don't care!”, the precious voice insisted louder, “i don't want to behave!”

and, well... _that_ statement (at _that_ very moment!) had my head turn over immediately. from where i was standing in the hallway i couldn't see the dear fighter, so i slowed down and approached the open door, quite indifferent to students' curious eyes. the only thing on my mind was to see the face behind the sweet resistance. and yes... bewitching voice!

for a moment, i was standing there, eyes switching over the faces turned to me and trying to guess which one was the match to the attitude that had acquired my instant sympathy...

but they were silent now. giving me a hard time to riddle it.

the only move i had was to keep nailing each one's stare... until theirs would “talk” to me...

“leave the classroom, student”, the insipid voice addressed me, but i couldn't seem to care, even though, as a rule, i would've remarked that i was technically out of the classroom. “u r intruding class!”

“he's not!”, i heard again the voice which i could never mistake anymore and i tracked down... the most adorable baby boy i could've imagined. ever!

there he was, in all the glory of his grace, his eyes sparkly and warm, his spirit mild, untamed... his voice at the teacher charmingly disagreeable, but G-d!, his gaze at me was meek and tender like a baby doe. ever since this instant when our eyes first met i would never be able anymore to resist his gentle power over me, for too long...

right then, i couldn't help but smirk... there u r, Baby Boy, i thought sealing in his voice, his pretty lips, but most of all his immense credulous eyes.

“tristen, keep silent!”, the teacher spoke to Baby Boy again, and then back to me, “leave the classroom!”

“certainly, sir”, i hardly glanced at him, surprisingly lacking the motivation to contend anymore. i took one last taste of tristen's pretty face. i've got u!, my eyes nailed down his and i was gone before he'd b able to handle it.

i clearly remember, when i stepped down the hallway again, there was no fury in my heart anymore, no rage, no urge to break things. my restless demons had been tamed, spellbound... by the humility in two pure eyes with coffee scent...

i spent the rest of the morning at the beach, lying down on my back, listening to the fairy tale whispered by the waves, smoking pot and recalling over and over again the silver bells in Baby Boy's voice... his gentle eyes... the fineness of his face... and i was feeling lighter every minute... more infinite... and more blissful... the mere thought of him had my soul smile more than the pot did... and my heart was happy, playful... 

by the hour of the end of classes i'd already come up with the decision to... get him. i had no idea what i meant with it or how would i spend my time with him at all. i only knew i had to see him!

and it was an urge i couldn't fight.

it's still an urge i cannot fight.

it always will b...

i went back to school and sat down in the backyard with a view to the entrance, waiting for him to come out. while doing so, i reached inside my back pocket for another joint but i stilled before i could take it out and after a change of heart i reached inside the upper pocket of my shirt for an orbit peppermint instead. rolling the gum strip inside my mouth, i saw the boy possessing all of me ever since i'd seen him coming out the door: skinny, innocent – and stupefyingly beautiful!

my eyes shimmered. i smirked within and rushed toward the corner to get there before him. for a moment i took pleasure in observing him walk – all his bones so delicate: his arms, his knees, his knuckles!... an insight hit me, i could easily spend a whole day just watching him move...

pressed against the wall, i called keeping my voice on the low:

“hey! baby boy!”

of course, i knew his name, i'd heard the teacher address him. twice. i just intentionally aimed to embarrass him.

and it worked!

tristen looked around with wide-open eyes but he delayed a moment to find me. then he froze – and his hand holding the school bag hung down somehow... vulnerable.

i couldn't help another smirk – captured by his... defenselessness before me.

he didn't speak – just stood still, eyes locked with mine, and i could see golden honey melting down with the coffee warmth in his vast eyes...

i pulled his wrist before his overwhelming gentleness would turn me into a perfect dumbass and pinned him against the wall.

not only didn't he defy in any way, but he felt like pliant plasticine in my arms, like a pretty doll. like he'd stay the way i'd make him stay. like he'd... _enjoy_... surrendering his cute mischievousness to me. like... he was mine to take.

i looked deep into the liquid amiability of his gaze, straight to the core of his yielding soul, and i instinctively remembered the bristling rebelness of his attitude earlier... which was the reason he was now in my arms... that spirited resistance of his soul! that implacable defense of his desire! that intransigence of his... being!

so obstinate! so troublesome!

there wasn't any hint of all that now.

in my arms, his soul was quiet and submissive. and the sense of his docility was so appealing, so irresistible, so utterly consuming, that i could hardly breathe...

for a tiny glimpse... i almost lost all my sass to him.

like mesmerized, i slowly approached his lips... for short i felt my chewing gum on the side of my tongue, long forgotten to b chewed... but honestly, the foretaste of his lips on mine... wasn't leaving plenty of room for any other sense... beside the heart rush in my chest...

i touched his lips.

the feeling struck me hard, i couldn't even move for a while. and i thought i'd cry... with inability... to take it all...

in the deafening silence the bangs of my heart burned inside my ears and had me shaking. i completely leaned on my hand against the wall, not moving lips off Baby Boy's.

his touch was silken, warm and supple. i felt like i could taste his soul... on his lips, so pure, mild and... loving.

i gently pressed my lips against his... as if to kiss his breath. then i slightly pulled away and spread my lips a tiny bit, just as much as to fit the curve of his.

i kissed another curve... painting with my lips... the shape of his... into my heart... slow... soft... in detail...

for a while i kept on kissing the outline of his lips...

then i looked at him. he could hardly open his big baby doe eyes... i smiled within my heart... and leaned back to kiss the very center of his lips' beautiful bumps...

unexpectedly, i felt him kissing back... and my head got dizzy.

i sucked in his breath... and gently as well his lips... moving lightly back to experience them more potently.

opening my lips, i kissed again the heavenly incurvature in-between his. it was wet. i took in his lips a touch harder and rubbed them moving mine. as i felt him shiver, i pulled back to look at him.

his eyes remained closed now and i could sense him fighting tears and confusion. i decided to give a break to both of us and regain some heartsease.

meanwhile, i reached for his bag, he feebly dropped it in my hand and as i placed it on the ground by his feet, his ridgy bare-skinned knees left me nearly breathless. i would've kissed their bony curves, weren't they so much faint already. i rose up back to kiss again his lips instead.

and i kept on kissing him... until the sun had long ago started going down... and i noticed Baby Boy's lips had become... somehow too red and... bulbous.

all the afternoon, we hadn't spoken a word to each other. first, we couldn't, then... we didn't need to... the urge to feel each other's lips was stronger than any other thing, and it was consuming us. it hadn't taken me too long to realize he needed it as much as i did... and this awareness has filled me in with bliss...

and with temerity.

during pauses i was giving ourselves, i kept on consciously discomposing him with a daring stare and a grin. and, in all honesty, the baffled fluttering of his pretty lashes tickled my soul really delightfully.

and because i was having seriously great time, it'd taken me a while to realize his bowed head was a dejected observation of his bag rather than concealing agitation by looking down.

i looked around: the schoolyard was empty, everyone had gone home long ago. considering the sunlight, i thought it must be about 4 pm or 5 pm, and looking back at Baby Boy's crestfallen face i could see he was upset.

he was far too late from school and he must worry he'd get scolded for it... or probably he was feeling guilty for his undone homework... or he was feeling in the wrong... for our kisses...

however, his uneasiness struck my heart and i almost caressed his face as an unconscious attempt to wipe away his troubles.

“do u want to go home already, little boy?”, my voice sounded really far away from the care i felt for him.

“i...”

he choked and i noticed lucid tears hardly held behind his eyelids. i leaned and took his bag.

“c'mon... i'll walk u home...”

we walked the way in silence. i knew i'd risen up too many feelings within his pristine heart... most of them unknown for him... many – disturbing like a guilty pleasure... and they'd riot his pure soul for quite a while...

for me... i was a natural-born dissenter. to disobey was my essence, it could never push me in distress.

but i could intuit he was a darling boy and disregarding rules would stir turmoil in his soul...

more than once i glanced at him, desperately trying to put in order his troubled feelings, and i nearly wished i could take back _everything_ i'd done to drag him there. i'd never regret having kissed him (it was heaven! how could i!), but i'd certainly do _anything_ to wipe away the tears off his eyes.

of course, i wasn't acting in accordance with that solicitude at all and i didn't say a word to ease his struggle. i was taking a note to myself to get him a lollipop next time when i realized he'd stopped walking. i turned to see him looking at me with his doe-like eyes. my heart skipped a beat and i quickly hid it behind a questioning face and a jerking eyebrow. he looked down, then at the house in front of us. tracking his sight, i realized we must've arrived at his home.

“is this where u live?”

i sensed he was shy to look at me and for a moment i didn't turn to look at him either. it was a rather intuition about his nod beside me, i handed him his bag. he received it with a bashful gasp as my fingers touched his and that unfettered my impudence again. this time i turned quite a daring gaze at him and shoot a smirk. even though he kept avoiding my eyes, he must've felt my provocation as he tried to swallow daze once more. i realized he was struggling to respond to me, so i rushed to walk away before he be able to do it. avoiding sentiment of any kind was essential for me at this point.

because his keen vulnerability was absolutely priceless to my heart. for now. and i wouldn't give it up that easily. (2015)


	2. Chapter 2

i hadn't seen him for way too long... i wouldn't admit it (not even to myself) but my heart had started badly longing for the sweet compliance in his honey-chocolate eyes... my arms had been starving for his compelling vulnerability when he was surrendering to me... and yes! my entire being had been dying to taste again the innocence in his kisses (of which i could never get enough!)...

at this point, the end of my short-lived affair with formal education had progressed pretty much already. my anyway scarce tolerance to human bullshit had decreased to technically 0 and my irritability had grown inversely in geometric progression. ppl's lack of basic spiritual grace and simultaneous abuse on officiary power have always been the worst to set my rage on fire and i wasn't feeling like i could survive a single second there anymore!

later on, tristen would compare me to a butterfly whose bewitching wings would crumble to dust at only someone's breath and he'd teach me a great deal about keeping my heart and mind intact. but as of then, he hadn't been there yet, plus my heart was too sore missing Baby Boy, so i just grabbed my backpack and left the room.

_“it's just that not everyone can teach u, baby”_ , he'd tell me years later when i'd realize that for all my life i hadn't learned as much as for the few months i'd technically got to be with him. _“if u sense the slightest hint of fake or counterfeit or just plain bullshit, u refuse to listen at all anymore.”_

tristen's words would help me figure out my core clash not just with education but with the world at all – and thus he'd change me dramatically.

all that, while himself accepting me unconditionally. more! _loving_ me for everything i'd been. even when it'd hurt him deeply...

he'd teach me what Love was: the gentle sense of being... G-d's dearest creation. while all i'd felt i was by then used to b... an unforgivable failure. basically, i'd constantly been forced to realize my whole existence was WRONG.

tristen would teach me... inner nirvana – this safe place within which i would've failed to obtain by paralyzing my feelings, by thumbing a ride around the world or by profound meditation. he'd show me sweetness greater than my revolt.

he'd teach me G-d. he'd teach me... life.

all that, when he'd come up.

right then, his angel heart hadn't made mine immune to human crap yet and my teacher's force over my core sense of justice had utterly shattered every last limit of all my tolerance. i could hardly even breathe with fury, so i _had_ to drop it. instantly!

“alexander! where do u think u r going!”

i couldn't even bother to glance. all my power was deployed to prevent me from falling apart in front of her. and even so, i felt my eyes full of tears as i pushed the door behind me.

_“breathe, baby. we breathe together. remember?”_ , i'd hear tristen's soothing words and they'd release the tears down my face. it was too much to handle. i'd sniff sobbing, face against his chest, future, past and present becoming one beyond time.

_“that's for handling sexual tension, tris! not bitch's crap!”_

and i'd hold onto him as my rage would pour out in helpless cry and shaking. tris would wrap me in a gentle hug and kiss my head whispering:

_“it's for any tension, baby... remember: ur rhythm. ur neshima.”_

i'd nod and breathe along with him. in his arms, the world would always be pure and full of love. peace and spiritual grace would grow back to a default human nature. i'd lose and find myself at once in his soul. G-d would b... a family...

_“no hell. only Heaven!...”_ would become our life spell. later, when his presence in my life would let go of all my misery and turn it into bliss for real.

but back then, my Anger (which has always been simply a distorted reflection of my helplessness against violent injustice) was still eating me alive. and i _really_ urged to see Baby Boy (even though my consciousness hadn't recognized this need yet and the more suffocating it was).

i went where i'd always gone to purge and set my mind and soul free.

the Sea.

only here my spirit has always been... genuine. only here i've always been at peace – with the world. with myself. with all existence and beyond...

i dropped my backpack like a load of scum and started getting rid of shoes and clothes. my chest, my skin, my entire body was tingling to... come home to the Sea. my breathing was messed again.

i ran up to grab my board – dave's surf renting shack was open the most hours and i was allowed to keep my own board there with a 24/7 access to it.

dave was working on a board but when i approached, he raised his eyes, checked the hour and then looked back at me.

“dropping school again, mate?...”

i mumbled hugging my board:

“it's hard not to, david. even if i try. and i try! hard! every! fucking! day!”

i nearly ran over to the Sea and couldn't see him anymore, but i heard his smirking voice:

“i know, mate, i know!... u doing great there. really.”

truth is dave wasn't my best fr. no one really was – i'd never found it easy to speak up when i'd been hurt. the Sea was my only home and fr in whom i'd find comfort and understanding (before i met tristen).

or writing.

or traveling around the world.

still, dave was of the few ppl i'd talk to at all. he'd told me i ought to own a board as my connection with the Sea was profound and i should keep it so, not randomize it with just any surf.

then he'd taught me how to make it, he'd helped me tune it, make it fit me... to the detail...

i'd always feel grateful to him for taking the bother to observe and understand my communication with the Sea. i'd never expected ppl to notice me at all...

sliding down the wave felt like relaxing back in the coziest bed – but it was better than a bed... infinite... unlimited. sensation of regaining peace... i could _finally_ feel _MY_ rhythm. and _MY_ neshima...

then, rising up the next one, i remembered the endless times dave had asked me: “how does it slide? how does it rise up? how does it spin? how do u feel it against ur feet? ur chest? ur arms? ur hands?...” until i finally became one whole with my board. and through it, with the Sea. i'd smiled: “it's perfect, dave!” realizing he'd taught me not just how to communicate with my board but how to connect to my own self. how to become an intrinsic part of the Sea. how to b at home with it. how to move in it. to breathe with it. how to live it. love it. and get through it into this state of bliss which i'd realize always existed within me. all i needed to get there was my board. and the Sea.

i leapt over longing for the split second of eternity of being weightless... this irresistible tickle... of absolute freedom... within my chest...

then... then i lost idea of any existence beyond the Sea... anything else just stopped existing... i could only feel the breathing of the Sea... its rhythm... mine... tuning in... up and down... balancing... running ahead... leaping over... freedom! happiness!...

until all demons dissolved... in salted water... and all my muscles were utterly relaxed. and exhausted.

i dropped down on the sand along my board and closed eyes enjoying the sweet sensation of warm grit against my wet skin... my neshima was now profound... slow... happy... grateful...

idk for how long i'd been delighting in the sun, the sand, the Sea's tenderly whispered fairy tale, the smell of salt and seaweed... when i felt a shadow passing between the sun and me...

my mind and body, my entire self were so utterly lost in warmth, peace and quiet happiness that i felt really lazy to open my eyes and see... still, i peeked hardly opening one eye, intended to forget reality again afterwards... perhaps have a pot...

but when i saw the one standing in confusion just beside me i suddenly forgot all my intentions and everything at all.

there HE was! tiny. shy. barely glancing at me. more perfect than i would remember him!

still, i played it careless and mumbled, teasing him with sincere lenience:

“baby boy... what r u doing here?... aren't u supposed to b doing homework?...”

i half opened my other eye... expecting to delight... in his tears at the taunt... bc that way i could kiss them away...

and truth b told, he really blushed so hard i was sure he'd cry... but to my surprise, i heard his trembling voice instead, almost a whisper:

“i'm not a baby!...”

G-d knows, i was not able to contain my smirk at that – even if i tried. tickled by his daring, i loaded the tease harder:

“really?”, my voice as unimpressed as inversely delighted i felt, “prove it”.

of course, i was aware it was pitiless from me. and i was eagerly waiting for his tears. for the chance to shelter him in my arms and to kiss away his innocent worries...

but instead... _HE_ made me speechless.

he kneeled by my side. surprised, i was still enjoying the sand movement beside my elbow and the close sensation of his pretty knee on my skin when he leaned over, thin arm dipping in on the other side of my head, and before i could comprehend at all, i felt his soft quivering lips... against mine.

i lost my breath.

Heaven was on earth.

time and space disappeared.

there only was Baby Boy.

my! Baby Boy.

the universe was full with him. and all the air was resonating the beats of my rushing heart. (2016)

  


this Kiss! this completely... soul-consuming sense of his gentle lips on mine! his angel soul reflected in the subtle way they moved! and – oh G-d! - this split moment of eternity, the moment... when he made my heart stop and i had no mind, no memory, no breath... nothing else at all existed. and all was One. and all was... G-d.

the moment when he opened lips to me – and brought me Home.

the Kiss which happened in a – what?! a minute?! - but which i'd remember... for life. bc all my life happened in this minute.

_this_ Kiss had now, years later, left behind so many more minutes, that i'd started... losing the sense of him as a real person.

of course, i'd got everything he gave me in abundance before he left: his shirt (החולצה שלו!) which i still wear on each Shabbat, his watch (never off my wrist), his wristband (which i only take off for a bath and it'd become quite lose around my wrist)... (2017)


End file.
